(Note: The following story is purely for fun and is not considered canon to the rest of the stories)

For Jeff and Kevin, it was an average December day during this wonderful zombie apocolypse. The sky was filled with grey clouds that slowly bombarded the ground below with snow.  The two familiar figures walked through the snow and into a small town. They paused as another figure limping towards them.

“You want this one, or should I get him,” The Jeff asked, lifting up his communist Russia winter hat to see the approaching infected.

“Eh, have at ‘em,” Kevin replied. Rubbing his hands together trying to warm them up. The tall man nodded and approached the person running towards them. Its skin was grey and blue from the cold, and its cloths were all tattered. It only made snarling sounds as it neared them. Jeff swung his hammer at the creature.

“KA-CHUNK,” Sounded the hammer as it contacted with the zombie’s skull. The creature fell to the floor lifeless.

Satisfied, Jeff marked a dash onto his sledgehammer and then looked at the sky. “Dude, we better set up camp soon,  snow’s getting worse.”

“Yeah,” Kevin replied looking around. He pointed at a nearbye Shell gas station, “Unless you have a better idea.”

“Eh, good enough, they’ll probly have some food and supplies left,” Jeff agreed.

The doors to the small station building were locked, and since neither of them had a crowbar, nor were experts at lock picking, they simply smashed in the glass door and walked inside.

“No alarm,” Jeff mumbled, “guess there’s no power either.”

A gust of wind entered through the broken door. Quickly, Kevin moved a display shelf in front of the door and fell to the floor.“…Ok, I normally don’t complain,” Kevin sighed, zipping up both of the jackets he was wearing, “But it’s freakin’ cold!”

“Yeah, that happens during the winter,” Jeff replied, “ it’s cold today, it was cold yesterday, and was cold a week before that, and guess what!? Tomarrow is gonna be cold too! It‘s December, what do you expect?”

“Tru….December? Holy shit, I never realized,” Kevin yelled, grabbing his satchel to the floor, he looked through its content hastily.

“What?”

Kevin took out his old Nintendo DS and turned it on. It had been a few weeks since he used it and was a miracle that it still worked. He checked the calander that appeared on the startup screen. “….today’s Christmas Eve.”

“Dude, your kidding! Christmas Eve,” Jeff replied sarcastically, setting up a few lamps they had to light up the room, “How will we ever get our x-mas lists to Santa in time? What should I ask for? A new Xbox? A dolly? Ooh, I know, how about a MINIGUN since it’s the end of the feckin’ world!”

“No, I mean, shouldn’t we celebrate,” Kevin asked, putting his DS away, “Christmas is a time of giving, and being with family.”

“…your retarded…”

“Come on Jeff, you’re my best friend, one gift, what would you want it to be?”

“Dude, we can loot whatever the hell we want as long as we survive, so don’t worry about it.”

“There must be someth-”

“-Unless you can make my girlfriend appear out of thin air, you don’t have to give me anything!”

“But what if I can,” He replied, with a bit of acting in his voice. Jeff punched him in the gut.

“Not funny,” Jeff replied and started browsing the supplies in the building that they could use.

“Right…sorry,” Kevin replied. He looked at the floor and noticed Jeff’s backpack. He smiled and took something from it, then grabbed a few things from the satchel as well. “Well since we pretty much have camp set up…I’m gonna…um…do some recon, ok?”

“Your going Christmas shopping aren’t you?”

“Ye- No…. Damn!”

“Just be back before the snow gets any worse.”

“Yeah sure,” Kevin replied, grabbing his shotgun and a handfull of shells. He pushed the shelf out of the way, and walked out, placing a fedora on his head. “Stop number one, the police station,” He said to himself, turning on his ipod, he scrolled down to the list of Christmas songs he had in a play list that (until just now) had been a rather annoyance.

“Hark how the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say, throw cares away…”

---

Back at the gas station, Jeff had broken into the employees’ room which was filled with mostly useless stuff, but had a few interesting items such as tools and knives. “Well…I got nothing’ better to do,” Jeff mumbled, taking a few of the items. He walked back to the main room and noticed Kevin had left the two revolvers he had often killed undead with. “Might as well get fatass a Christmas present.” He looked at the hunting rifle he had…in particular the scope on it.

---

“Knock knock,” Kevin said, walking through the broken in door of the police station. He noticed blood stains all over the place as he walked through. “Hello,” He asked, turning on the flashlight that he had duct taped to his shotgun. There was a deep wheezing sound coming from the next room. “We wish you a merry Christmas,” Kevin sang taking a step into the next room, the growling got louder, “We wish you a merry Christmas.”

What looked like an infected riot officer lunged at him. There was a boom of a shotgun followed by a gurgled cry of a sound as a body fell to the floor, then utter silence.

“…we wish you a merry Christmas,” Kevin continued, marking another kill on his jacket sleeve, “and a happy new year.” Content, he made his way to the riot room, grabbed a bullet proof vest, and exited the building. “…next stop, hardware store.”

---


Jeff looked out the window and sighed, “Snow’s getting heavier, that idiot better hurry.” He looked back down at the two hunting knives he had and the assorted metal bits scattered around him. Before he continued working he paused and looked around, “…now where did I leave my fedora?”

---

“Haha! Ace Hardware,” Kevin laughed, adjusting the fedora on his head. He held his shotty in one hand and had the vest slung over his shoulder. He walked a bit faster than he had been before and never realized between the music he had playing and the sloshing of his boots against the snow, just how much of a racket he was making. It had certainly caught the attention of a nearbye infected. Unlike the others however, this one, was an infected dog…it was probably a husky breed, because its movements through the snow were swift. When Kevin turned around to see what it was, it was too late, because the creature had tackled him to the ground, next to a nearbye tree.

“BARK BARK,” The thing sounded, parts of it had been shedding and some cold blue skin could be seen.

“AH SHIT,” Kevin yelled, trying to push the dog away. His shotgun was out of reach, and it wouldn’t do any good if it was in reach because he had to keep the thing from biting him too.

The dog made ferocious snapping sounds as it tried biting him.

“G…get off,” Kevin yelled pushing the dog off him. As he got up, the dog rolled over and regained its footing. It lunged at Kevin again, but he sidestepped and the beast head butted the tree and fell to the floor. As it tried getting up again, Kevin backed and grabbed his shotgun, aimed and…

“Click….click click.” ….empty.

“Oh fuck,” He mumbled and scrambled to reload. The dog barked and readied to lunge at him once more, but before it could do so, a large icesickle fell from the wobbling tree and stabbed through the dog’s skull. “….phew,” Kevin sighed and fell to the floor and caught his breath. After a few minutes he got back up, reclaimed his things, then entered the hardware store.

“Ok, I’m a last minute shopper so I better hurry,” Kevin mumbled, grabbing a shopping cart, he tossed his stuff inside it and then ran from isle to isle collecting the items he needed. Some bolts and screws, an electric drill, some metal sheets and a few other items. He took the fedora off his head and grabbed the drill.

---

“Well, that should do it,” Jeff sighed, moving Kevin’s Christmas gift aside, he grabbed a mountain dew and drank it happily. “Now, what’s taking fatass so long?” He looked outside and noticed that the snow had gone from bad to blizzard! “Damn it looks bad outside. Kevin, if your any smart, you’ll stay inside and wait for the weather to get better.” He buttoned his trench coat back up, grabbed a spool of string, and put on his Russian. “Who am I kidding?” He put on his glasses, as well as a scarf mask over his mouth.

---

“And…done,” Kevin cheered, his gift was finished. He gathered his stuff and looked outside. The air was filled with snow, it was nearly impossible to see. “Holy crap, I better get back.” Without second thought he left the store. “I’ll be there in no time.”

---

…Half an hour later, Kevin was freezing and lost. “Hello!? Anyone!?”

“Fatass!? You there,” Jeff yelled.

“Jeff…that you?”

“Kev, where are you,” Jeff yelled.

“s…so cold,” he mumbled and fell to the floor.

“God, feckin’ damnit, where the hell are you,” Jeff yelled, trying to see through the dark blizzard. He took a step, tripped over something and fell into the snow. “Oh what the hell…wait…” He pushed the lump that was under a pile of snow.

“Uhhhhh”

“Damnit Kev, get up, “Jeff yelled, kicking him.

“OW! Damnit I’m up,” He mumbled, Jeff helped him up.

“Come on ya idiot, lets get out of this snow.”

“Y…yeah…good idea.”

Jeff tugged on the end of the string he had and they followed it back to the gas station, the other end was tied to the sign with the prices of gas on it. Once inside, Jeff grabbed a few items and started a campfire inside the building. Then for a while, they were both quiet. Kevin looked at the fedora he had, smiled and handed it to Jeff, “Merry Christmas buddy.”

“….you got me my fedora? …I risked my life looking through that blizzard, so you could give me the fedora I looted from a store months ago?”

“Sorta,” Kevin replied and flipped it over. The brim of the hat had metal plates screwed alongside it, and the inside had some weird material sewn to it. “Found some supplies, and made it bulletproof, and you can cut people with it now.”

“…….seriously,” Jeff asked, taking the hat and checking it for himself.

“Yup.”

“….dude…that’s amazing…” Jeff paused, “I got you something too…sorry I would’ve ordered you a girlfriend but the internet doesn’t work anymore.”

“Very funny”

“So I got you this instead,” He finished and handed Kevin his revolvers… accept they were a bit different. Both of them had a bayonette attached to the barel of the guns, and one of them had a sniper scope built into the top of it.

“No freakin’ way!

For a while the two admired their new “toys,” followed by an hour or so of drinking soda, eating junk food, telling jokes, and other forms of idiocy until finally they called it a night.

---

The next morning, it had finally stopped snowing, and Kevin was the first to wake up.

“…No way…Jeff! He’s real, Santa’s real! And he left us presents!”

“Ugh, shut up Kev, it’s too early for me to endure your stupidity.”

“No I’m serious look,” Kevin yelled, pointing at several undead that were limping through the snow towards them, “it’s a Christmas miracle!”

---

“You know…this really is the true meaning of Christmas,” Jeff laughed, smashing a zombie’s skull in with his sledgehammer.

“You mean, being with your friends and family and that giving is more important than receiving,” Kevin asked ‘giving’ the bayonete of his revolver to a zombie’s….skull.

“No,” He replied, “Christmas is all about killing zombies,” he paused, grabbed his fedora and threw it like a Frisbee at a infected’s neck, slicing it clean off, “and looking badass at the same time.”

They laughed and continued fighting off the undead, Kevin aimed his revolvers and smiled.

“…This is the best Christmas ever!”